purplefishtalk (purplefishtalk) wrote in herasdaughters,

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I'm new too

Doesn't look like there has been very much activity since 2005 here, but in looking for a community for a different purpose I found this one which I've needed MANY times.

My mother suffered from Schizophrenia (apparantly) all her life.  She wasn't officially diagnosed until I was 21.  I was the lucky one who got to reap the *benefits* of her illness for 21 years before anyone took me seriously.  I have lots more I want to say about all of this, but tonight I'm very numb from the recent loss of a family member (whom incidently I never got to know well as a child BECAUSE of my mothers issues).  In a nutshell though, my mother - who will likely outlive all of us - has been so kind as to pass down a fraction of her genepool to me, and I was diagnosed Bipolar 2 in 2004; after living the previous 15 years with a diagnosis of chronic clinical depression.  I know it's not her fault - thats what everybody kept telling me as a kid anyway in response to all the resulting abuse - but in all honesty I can't deny feeling cheated; both out of having a mom and a healthy mind.  At least though, I have learned the hard way that come hell or high water I will NEVER "STOP" my meds just because of some stupid side effect.

Sorry this turned into a vent.  I really feel like I could use a mother tonight, as I sit here pondering the tragedy of my cousin who just lost her son.

I'd better post back when I'm feeling better. 
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